Sometimes those who have everything claim they have nothing, and because of that loose it all.

The cake was awful but the icing was nice. So I ate the icing.

If you ever want to own the world, you first have to loose your world.

Sometimes it's to your benefit to put your glasses on and enjoy all that you cannot see.

Sometimes it's to your benefit to take your glasses off and enjoy all that you cannot see.

When I warm food in my microwave, I set the timer for an obscenely long time and proceed to surf the web to distract myself. Then when I remember that I'm warming food I figure that's a good time to take it out.

I don't know why this system works and hasn't destroyed my food or microwave, but it does.

I'm not a fan of mustard but if a sandwich or cheeseburger that I buy has mustard already on it, I love it. It's almost like the flavor of the mustard changes depending on whether or not I know it's there prior to eating. Or maybe mustard is the best flavor to be surprised by but the worst flavor to expect.

Sometimes understanding people is as easy as listening to them. Sometimes, rather than ignoring every other word and waiting for your turn to speak, you can listen and hear for another (a very special another) all that you would have said. Sometimes that will make the world feel really magical for a moment.


Sometimes you win the lottery.

You can't sweep a desert. Better to just lay down a beach towel and enjoy the sun.

To be the best with pencils, you must also be the best with erasers.

The Jonas Brothers must be stopped.

With the power of ROCK!

You're my Autumn, and I'm falling for you.

Leo:
Cher Horowitz
Seth Cohen
(equal parts)

Sometimes heaven is served on a dirty spoon.

Skinny men, like myself, spend the whole summer getting ripped. So by August we look fantastic, we're not huge (wouldn't want to be) but everything is so tight and defined (think Adam Brody if he were in 300).

But, of course, everyone does the whole pool party thing in June.

The handle bars on my bike started loosening so before I left work, I used an Alan key that was around to tighten them.

And it worked!

I felt so accomplished it was unreal; I think this weekend I'm going to buy a soldiering iron to fix my guitar too. That's right, pretty soon people will call me "Mr. Handy Man."


I did also knock over a lot of stuff at work today and re-break my handle bars shortly after fixing them but let's not kill the moment.

The best thing about lies is you always get what you want out of the lie before anyone figures out it's a lie.

There are a lot of things that don't make sense, but make dollars.

(Say it out loud.)

DVD Menus that feature scences from the movie often spoil the movie.

The other day I got knocked off my bike by an ill-placed branch. Today I went back to the tree, determined to kick its ass. After almost getting hurt again, making myself look ridiculous, and just all-in-all not getting very far, I decided to call it a draw.

There are a lot of people who believe there's nothing more amazing than love and I'm definitely one of them.

But to avoid the chance of finding out I'm wrong, I try make sure not to eat any desserts around girls that I like.

Marriage is based on feeling and love and being in love and having feelings.

so

planning to get married is like planning to have feelings.

It'd be ridiculous to plan to get angry, but the same is not seen when someone plans to fall in love.

I think I'll be angry tomorrow, no-GRUMPY! Yeah, grumpy.

If you only like a few songs by an artist, you can't list that artist as part of your favorite music. You can list those songs as part of your favorite songs, but to go any further than that is just ridiculous. For an artist to be your favorite that at least must have one album that you consider flawless or they must have a collection of albums that you consider good to very good. But if out of all an artist's works, you can only think of a handful of impressive songs...then this person is not your favorite.

I'll have Congress pass all of this in the morning.

I like to re-invent. Start a new. But I dislike change. So I like re-inventing how to stay the same.

People will comment on this when I'm famous.